Most people know what it is like to want to talk about societal problems and political issues, but we all have been raised to believe that you don’t talk about politics, religion, or intimacy in this country. The fact of the matter is that if we do not talk about these things, we will never improve the intolerance prevalent in modern society and the divides that are growing in opinions today. When I encounter people, I look for trailheads on issues that have been top of mind for me the last few years and try to find personal topics where I can have a conversation, and create an opportunity to interact with someone.
The first hurdle in talking to people is just a simple acknowledgment of the other humans that are around you. A smile, just saying hi, or commenting on something, such as the prices in the store, sends the message that you are not going to “elevator space” this experience. Too many people seem to just stand or sit in silence and pretend that we are not allowed to interact as fellow humans and meet the need to be the social animals that we are. You never know the thoughts and challenges that other people have going on in their inner world and their lives unless you take the moment you have to have that conversation. You don’t know, you might just brighten someone’s day by taking the time to be kind.
There was an instance when I was traveling home from a business trip and I had just enough time to get dinner before my flight. I looked, and the only table open in the restaurant at the terminal was at the bar, with one seat left. I headed over, hung my coat on the back of the chair, along with my work bag, and nodded to the man sitting next to me and smiled. He said hi, and I responded. I sat down and ordered my drink and meal, and then turned to him while I was waiting, and asked how his trip was. I patiently listened as he explained how he was now working as a consultant for a company that had let him go previously. They had changed management in the elapsed time and had realized how critical his job and role were at the company. I commented that no one truly knows the value of something until you experience its absence. He laughed and agreed.
The news was on the TV in the bar and they had a section on local crime and the lack of resources to deal with all of the reports. They went on that some of the issues that were at the core were mainly due to other social issues going on, such as domestic disputes, mental health problems from economic downturns, lack of medical care personnel, and the resources to be able to address them. He commented on how things were so much tougher than they used to be, and how socialism was going to ruin the country. I said, well you know, the police, many mental health resources, medical research and facility funding, and even public libraries were all social programs sponsored by our tax dollars. Getting rid of social programs is going to make things worse not better. I for one have put a bunch of money into social security over the years, and if they are going to introduce legislation to remove it, it is going to harm my retirement plans and ability. He said that he was in the same boat, and was relying on it as well. It isn’t a tax, they track what you contribute, and that is part of what determines how much of a payout you get when old enough. It is a government-sponsored retirement program that the government has “borrowed” money from, and that is the main problem with its funding.
He said that I had a really good point about that and that he had not thought about those issues and solutions from that point of view before. I let him know that I work for an International company, and it was eye-opening to talk with my EU counterparts. In conversations with them, I had asked how they handled the economic downturns and homeless situations. The response I got back was in a serious tone, and I was told that homelessness and lack of good medical care was an American problem. They don’t let people live in the street or die due to lack of health care in their country, and their taxes are not much more than we pay in this country, they are a democracy like we are, and everything gets voted on to be approved. They have the assurance that everyone is worth ensuring a good and meaningful life, and it doesn’t take away from anyone to obtain that level of security. That got my attention.
I let him know after hearing that perspective from my work peers, I realized at that point how off-track we have gotten in this country. This is a democracy. We all should have a voice. We should all have a fair say in what this country is about. This is the land of the free, but we have made it so that the freedom we cherish comes with a price tag most people cannot afford. Life can be hard at times, and we do not always have the choice to avoid hardship, or the resources to overcome it without help, whether that is from family, friends, or the people we live in our communities with. We think of ourselves as the best place to live in the world, but in reality, we create many unneeded challenges for people to just survive, let alone thrive. We talked further about how extreme points of view just really don’t serve the majority of people’s needs, it doesn’t matter which party you follow, extremism doesn’t help to find common ground for “We the People”. That is what a democracy is about, “We the People” getting together, coming to common ground, and doing what is best for the most people that we can.
I had to leave to catch my flight, so I paid my bill and gathered my things. He got up shook my hand, and let me know he appreciated the conversation, and that he was glad that he had met me. He also said that it would help things in this country a lot if people just sat down and talked more like we just did, and just shared their experiences. I agreed that is how a democracy is supposed to work, and said that we all are not that much different in our wants and needs as Americans, and we can do much better by starting with the things we can agree on, and use that to get the wheels of progress moving again. Everyone deserves a chance to get ahead, and when someone is injured or just needs help I don’t ask what their political associations, ethnic background, family background, or religious views are, I just help them as much as I can without harming myself. That is how you act like a good human, and what being an American is all about.